Friday Night Experiment

Ok...so I don't post often and I probably think too much about a topic or story and therefore write nothing. Well fear not, no accusations of that on tonight's post. So, my latet Netflix is the second installment of the Family Guy spoof of Star Wars, the Empire Strikes Back version..."Something, Something, Something Dark Side". So, as my dear wife is out with a friend and doesn't appreciate Family Guy as I do, I have decided to watch and record every line that makes me chuckle...is it a review? Not a traditional one. Is it an attempt at humor? Surely not. Is it a waste of time? Probably...but here goes:

1. First chuckle...not something I can say without offending someone.
2. Opening title sequence in its entirety, reference to monkeys especially
3. Use of Jetsons cartoon to simulate the spy droids being deployed...bravo
4. Something else too offensive to publish
5. That the snow monster is depicted like Sesame Streets Cookie Monster (six flags)
6. Random George Takei reference
7. Bag of ice joke, second time (no flags)
8. Snowmonster ball reference
9. Yet another offensive comment...that's three, I'm going to hell
10. Random Rodney Dangerfield reference (bravo)
11. Extended breathing..."on the outside"
12. Overweight Pilot call sign
13. Juicy Fruit commercial spoof...with Han Solo
14. Sorry, too offensive to admit to laughing at...
15. I don't even know how to explain, but I'll be literal: Stewie as Darth Vadar, leaning out of an Imperial Battleship with a baseball bat, smashing a mail box with the name NIMOY on it...
16. I'm not sure if its offensive, but I'm gonna be safe and say nothing
17. Blatant innuendo of Brian as Chewbacca saying goodbye to Luke...sick
18. Stormtrooper having business cards and Darth Vadar doesn't (because of budget cuts)
19. Too hard to explain
20. Robot Camels
21. Crocs on Robot Camels
22. Use of classic family guy joke with "Robot Camel" scene
23. The fact that I am on line item 23 sixteen minutes into this movie
24. OnStar product placement when snowspeeder crashes
25. Chris as Luke pretending to be Admiral Akbar for the OnStar joke
26. What?!?! (you'll know)
27. Darth Vadar remembering past dancing days, and perhaps flirting with a stormtrooper
28. Darth Vadar farting
29. R2-D2 neice's recital
30. Strawberry Fields/Beatles joke (asteroid field)
31. Peter's dismissal of the odds...
32. van wilder reference...(six flags)
33. Jon Faverau reference
34. stewie as darth vadar saying shit (and other funny stuff)
35. Emperor telling Darth Vadar to "turn" Luke and Stewie as Darth Vadar thinking"turn" was a gay joke...my god, the video....too much to type...."Join the Empire...our ships are giant triangles"
36. Yoda/Luke Training session being compared to Rocky IV training sequence...how can you be a guy in his 30's and not be sold on this...by the way, its an extended joke....brilliant. Shit the even splice in Rocky IV scenes...
37. Evil Monkey joke....you have to know family guy for this one
38. Meg as the asteroid worm...poor girl
39. Teen Wolf reference...
40. Three Amigos, Cave Scene...FIVE FLAGS
41. The Chicken as Boba Fett
42. Nagging wife
43. Second Darth Vadar choking joke
44. Offensive
45. Wicked offensive
46. Slightly Wicked Offensive
47. Chicken
48. A joke I should get but don't...curses
49. Combo-Offensive...NICE
50. Peter pointing out the Chicken is Boba Fett
51. Peter's confession
52. Song Torture...Where Have All the Cowboys Gone...I should know that, right?
53. Holy Crap!...I love you...F'Off...WHAT - I honestly didn't see it coming
54. Mooning Carbonite
55. American Idol spoof
56. Car joke
57. Once again, the chicken
58. I wish my wife let me hang the Peter vs Chicken poster...apparently its not mature
59. R2D2 computer interface sex joke...wow
60. hard on joke
61. Stormtrooper "aim" joke...who do they ever really kill?
62. Spoiler Alert joke and subsequent Chris/Luke reaction
63. Odd gay joke
64. Cut off hand, maintenance worker...wow...one of the "you just had to be there"
65. Really weird Tom Selleck reference
66. "Turn the Ship Around" song...
67. "It's me you fuckers"
68. too weird
69. Fourth wall breakdown
70. Back to the Future reference, marketing the next spoof...brilliant

71. Robot Chicken jab...and compliment...with promotion...

48 minute program, 71 things that made me chuckle and honestly I didn't capture everything. Now, if you even get half the chuckles its still almost a laugh a minute...is that worth checking this video out? I think it is...

If you read this (yes you three people) and watch this episode and want to comment on the list, I welcome it, I applaud it....go for it...


37.

The blinking red light...

...or the might as well be trademarked tone of an iPhone instant message. I would argue when posed with the question, are you a slave to technology? many of us would chuckle and laugh at the comment, an outward sign of "no" but inside a knowing, well, maybe. I remember the day I was told I needed to get a Blackberry from IT, I resisted, I said no, no...I don't need it. It wasn't a choice. Now, years later it's as if I am controlled by the red light. If I know the blackberry is the room, I find myself staring at it from time to time, red light or green light, red light or green light. You would think the red light would make me want to STOP! don't come any closer, I only offer you a task or spam, stay away. But no, it calls to you...come, look at me, I offer you news. It's rarely good news is it, but we scurry like Pavlovian cubicle workers (perhaps that's redundant). Should my iPhone buzz or chirp I find myself in need of looking, I have been in the barber's chair and felt the vibrate and considered...do I risk the sudden movement and that razor moving from my neck to slice my ear off? Do I try to be sly and slide my hand in and hold it to the side and find a way to tilt my head to see it? I might as well toss out my crack pipe and bong while I am at it...we know it's wrong, right? We can't go anywhere, online or off without getting a message of some kind, most often one we don't want nor did we request...a pop up window, a billboard, a radio ad. We should be running away from more communication, yet some of it, we crave, we desire...if you happen along this, and you think, wow...that guy has problems, ask yourself, have I ever replied to an email at 3am? have I ever been visibly upset because I lost a signal on a call...while I was driving? So what do we do...or, do we need to do anything? Is this just where we are and it's time to accept and find a better way to text, drive and email at the same time?

iCaved

So it was bound to happen, after years of joking about writing a blog I have decided to give it a shot. I take pleasure in knowing that it will most likely only be read by me, so therefore I am just writing for myself and I can say whatever the heck I want without judgement. Of course, the arrogant bastard side of my personality coupled with a career in marketing will no doubt push me to "advertise" this blog to a few folks at first and see what happens. We shall see.

Why blog now? Why be essentially the last one to the party? Well I like to make an entrance! No no, basically I have always thought about it, joked about it, etc and so finally I caved. It started with my first computer purchase my senior year in college. After borrowing a friends to type papers and slowly getting sucked into the world of AOL chat rooms I needed the fix all the time and got my own machine. A few years later I got my first cell phone, which started off as a convenience until the dawn of text messaging. Next came the wonders of the DVD and the departure of my 300+ VHS movie collection. Now, well...the floodgates are open, blu-ray, iPhones, iPods, flat screen televisions, gps devices...the list goes on and technology has overwhelmed me, so why not a blog. Why not bore others with my rantings and ramblings? Why should my wife be the only one punished? So here I am, throwing my hat into the ring... I don't expect a steady stream of posts...but rather, when inspiration hits you will find me here. When idiots cross my path and annoy me, I will write. When someone chastises me for working in EVIL pharma while maintaining a drawer full of pills, a ranting I will do. When Jack Daniels convinces me I have just achieved true clarity of thought, no doubt a paragraph of mispelled words that strung together make no sense will appear here.

Today though, I am just here to simply say...hellooooo